


Perfection

by Lapitsa



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anxiety, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, jaspis - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 16:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4356374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapitsa/pseuds/Lapitsa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most days Jasper has no problem with her appearance, but today is not one of those days. <br/>This has happy ending, I promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfection

She felt disgusted at her own body, making her wonder what Lapis saw in her.   
Jasper was so.. big. That's only way to describe her, big. Usually Jasper didn't have any problems with her size, but today it was, ironically, her biggest problem. There were days when Jasper wanted to look feminine and to be adored by everyone like Lapis was. She had the perfect body, she was feminine, she was small. No one ever mistook Lapis as a man.   
Jasper stood in front of the mirror, full of self loathing. She wasn't able to move even if she wanted to. 

_''Ugly, stupid, fat. That's all you are. No one will ever be able to love you. Not even Lapis loves you. Everyone despises you''_  
Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!   
Jasper smashed their hallway mirror with her fist. She was shaking and there were tears streaming down her face. 

''Jasper! What was that noise? Are you okay?''   
Lapis ran into the room, she had previously been in the kitchen making dinner.   
Jasper fell to her knees, defeated. 

_''Now she'll surely hate me''_

''Your hand!''   
Lapis ran to their bathroom taking the first aid kit and quickly returning to Jasper. She crouched next her, taking bigger girl's arm and helping her up. Lapis led Jasper to their living room and sat her down on the couch, starting to remove biggest mirror shards from her hand. After she had made sure that there were no more, Lapis bandaged her hand. 

''Do you want to talk about it?''   
Jasper didn't say anything, instead she hugged Lapis close to her chest. Blue haired girl could feel Jasper's tears streaming down her head, but they didn't matter, Jasper did. She hugged Jasper as tight as she could. 

''I don't hate you and I'm not going to leave. I love you Jasper. I love you so so much and I think you're perfect just the way you are''   
Lapis knew that Jasper needed to hear these things and she was mad at herself for not saying these more often.   
Jasper was shaking with relief, Lapis didn't hate her. 

''I'm sorry Lapis. I'm so sorry. I love you too''   
Lapis detached herself from Jasper's hug so she could wipe away blonde's tears.   
Giving Jasper small smile she brushed their lips together, giving her girlfriend feather light kiss.

''How about we order something tonight and watch movies?'' 

''Sure''   
Jasper gave Lapis tired smile and brushed her nose against hers. 

''What about that mirror?''  
Jasper felt nervous, would Lapis yell at her for breaking it?

''I'll clean it up later, don't worry about it. It's just a mirror, we can get new one. Important thing is that you're okay''   
Lapis gave Jasper reassuring smile and pecked her cheek. She happily snuggled closer to her lovely girlfriend, wanting to calm her down before doing anything else.  
They were like that for a long time, Jasper lying on the couch and Lapis on top of her. It was moments like these when Jasper didn't mind being so big, it meant that she could make Lapis feel safe and protected.   
Both of them ultimately fell asleep, food and movies forgotten.   
That is until their fire alarm started shouting.

**Author's Note:**

> I have headcanon that human!Jasper has anxiety disorder, which would explain why she get's so easily angry.   
> In this fic I kinda wanted to look past that anger and kind of show other sides to her.


End file.
